Key Scripture Proverbs 31:26-28

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

Relevance

In my book, Finding Myself Inside, I wrote this about my relationship with Mum. 

"When I drank, Mum typically worried about me from the time I left the house at night to when I knocked on her door, arriving home at all hours of the morning. I think she wore her knees out praying for me. She lived until she was ninety-one years old, so I can’t be found guilty of shortening her life. But I sure gave her some worries."

I really don't think I was guilty of shortening Mum's life, but stressing it while she was alive? That's another story!

I would have hated to be her with me as a son. But like a lot of Christian mums with wayward children, she got through it with faith, prayer and pleading with God.

Mum was a pray-er all her life. All Christians pray, But some are what we call pray-ers. Mum was one of those. If any issues arose, regardless of the size or whoever was hurt or in trouble, you'd find Mum on her knees. 

Mum was 53 when I was 15. We worked side by side in the shop for years, but did I know her? There is a world of difference in the brains and minds of a 53-year-old and a 15-year-old. One is sacrificial, and the other is mostly immature and selfish, and there is a chasm between the two.

I had all the time in the world to get to know Mum, but youth prevented me from asking even one question about the real her. These days, I don't stop asking personal questions—to other people. But I squandered that opportunity with Mum. 

When we moved to Bendigo, I spent another three and a half years with her, but not one personal question entered my head. I was living seven days per week with my own mother and didn't really get to know her. 

Don't get me wrong. I know a lot about Mum. I could clearly explain to you what she thought about certain matters, which way she would interpret difficult scriptures, what she would choose for breakfast, how she would conduct herself through the day, her financial diligence, and her commitment to offerings. I could also write a book about her loving hospitality and how, at the drop of a hat, she would welcome strangers. Also, I could write reams about her lionheartedness when fear could have reigned. 

Yes, I know many things about Mum, but if I had my time over, I would ask more probing questions and let her have the reins.

I would ask about her childhood and the early experiences that molded her into the woman she became, about what she thought during those hard times rearing six children on a close-to-penniless existence. Because I didn't ask, I'll never find out. To top it off, I was too young to ask Dad about his life before he died, so that's another giant loss. 

To be fair, not many blokes ask their mums (or dads) about emotional stuff, such as inner thoughts and feelings, or spend time sitting quietly and listening, as they would a friend. Daughters seem a lot more gifted at that. But even some daughters don't do it. At my age now, I wish they would.

I ask myself, "Didn't I want to know?", or was I too self-absorbed to let my mind stretch across to Mum's life?

I mowed her lawns and sat down for plenty of cuppa's, but the deeper questions never entered my head. Now they do, years after her death. That's a bit useless, isn't it? 

You see, getting into their heads saves us from reinventing the wheel as we go through life. We wouldn't need to ask as many other people or stumble in the dark as much when navigating difficult times. 

The point I'm getting to with all this rambling is, what about you? Are there areas deep in your Mum's life you know nothing about? Are there unopened cupboards of how she figured out how to deal with situations or thought about things at certain times in her life?

Few children explore these areas. 

Why don't you make this Mother's Day extra special by digging into your Mum's history? Dig deep about when she was 20, 30, 40, 50, or 60 and ask about her fears and overcomings back then.

It doesn't matter if she isn't a Christian. Non-Christians also live life, and we can learn from them.

If it doesn't fit into your day, make a few appointments with her over the coming weeks, write down some well-thought-out questions, and just let her enjoy going back through the memories.    

Mums are special people with more to give than we've been given.  Bless them and you!

Happy Mother's Day!!

Prayer

Precious Father: One thing everyone has in common is that we all have mothers. Much information is stored in a mother's mind. For those mothers who are still living and have capacity and relationships, please help their children come closer to their hearts.  

Photo by Ijaz Rafi